1. Show your leadership and decisiveness by jumping to conclusions.
2. Only take credit for successes. When things go wrong, make sure you know who to blame.
3. Hire a plethora of directors of (field service, finance service, support service, assistant Scout executive, comptroller…). Require them to issue dictates that are mutually exclusive.
4. Have employees be responsible for something without giving them the authority to get the work done.
5. Just keep those pie charts and glossy presentations coming.
6. Keep people in the dark and then criticize them for not knowing what is going on.
7. Use initials to stand for information.
8. Give one of those quality seminars (Disney is nice). Then have your management make up a slogan like “spectacular customer service,” which they repeat mindlessly over and over.
9. Take insufficient time to pick the right people for the job.
10. Give big pay raises to your cronies, the folks at the top, and then lay off the low-level workers because money is tight. Don’t forget to pay yourself FIRST (like a 40% annual increase); after all you are the CEO.
11. Keep trying to implement a failing idea, or a series of past ideas, remember that is how you got here.
12. Tell your employees that quantity is a measure of quality.
13. Make ridiculous, nitpicky comments to show you have input and made a difference.
14. Sit on reports and projects requiring your signature, when you do give your approval make sure people know you have done them a favor and they owe you.
15. Tell your staff that it is quite possible to do the impossible with fewer people.
16. Remember that your special type of leadership is about creating your own reality and then selling it to the board. As long as they are in the dark about what is really going on – you have a job.
17. Capitalize on the ideas of others and then fire them.
18. Be cheap, not frugal.
19. Recreate summer camp everywhere you go – fire, demote, and transfer older employees.
20. When all else fails mount a smear campaign against anyone who disagrees with you – right? RIGHT?
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
